Unsettling

2012 will mark my 23rd year in the world, and like a lemon tart that has been left in the fridge to settle, it seems that I've been around long enough for my life to become more solid- in the sense that I am more sure of who I am and want to be, my morals and values, the way I conduct myself, as well as so many of the other things within.

I tell myself that these years in university are the last of my formative years, after which I will be ready to present a complete and properly settled version of myself to the wider world. Or will I? Given my track record, I should know better than to make grand claims such as these.

It makes me both happy and sad as I look back on the year gone by. At times it appears that I know what I'm doing, at other times this is less apparent. One streak that runs right through the twelve months, however, is change. I have changed so much and so quickly that truth be told, I barely recognise myself. I remember once pausing on the street on the way home from school to give myself a shake and ask myself if this was me. It is both scary yet liberating to discover; or rather uncover, the person within.

Why though, I sometimes wonder, are all these parts of my personality appearing to manifest now? It could be the whole London-Singapore-London-Singapore arrangement, or perhaps the simple fact that I am growing up and 'finding myself', if you will excuse the cliche. It will be interesting to see the kind of change 2012 brings. I can only hope that the person writing this at the end of the year in December is not some sort of transmogrified monster.

Happy new year!